The queen has entrusted me with finding the source of the river of beer known as Beerlao. It is known that it lies somewhere in the territory known as Laos, but the exact location of the source has eluded us. In order to record my thoughts on this perilous journey, I have started this journal for scientific integrity.

I had pressed inland through the Kingdom of the Thai on established transportation networks before approaching the edge of their territory. After unsuccessfully trying to charter a trip from Chiang Mai, I found myself on the border of Laos in the village the locals called Chiang Khong. It was there that I managed to secure my passage into the heart of Laos.

 

Day 1:

I awoke in the morning with a start. A rooster’s call echoed in between the houses near my accommodation. I packed up my bags and proceeded across the border, leaving the Thai behind. The Laos side of the border required an actual visa, but they issue them on arrival and took up a page in my travel document.

After entering Laos, I made my way to the pier, where boats waited that would take passengers upriver on the Mekong river.

I was already seeing traces of Beerlao. It appears that they bottle it and carry it out to the far reaches of the territory. It must have some special significance if they go through so much effort to make it so widely available.

We purchased some bottles and found some ice to keep it cold on the journey. With our cooler and bottled magical concoctions, we boarded the boat and started our way further into Laos, into the heart of beer.

The day proceeded uneventfully but pleasantly. I wondered if the locals used the bottled Beerlao in their shamanistic rituals. What was the purpose? I sampled a few bottles, and I did enjoy the taste, but I started to feel a little dizzy as the day wore on.

As the sun was setting, our boat stopped in a village where we were left to seek accommodation for the night. Upon securing a room, my fellow explorers and I were eating when the proprietor of our facility approached us with some green herbs. He promised that they would bring our conscience to a different level. We traded for it and proceeded to smoke it, but we felt nothing. I do believe he may have had the last laugh that night.

We continued drinking more of the bottled Beerlao, and it caused a most curious feeling. My recollection of the end of the night grows fuzzy, and I fear I cannot write any more on the subject.

 

Day 2:

I awoke this day not to the call of a rooster but to the rapping of our host’s fist on the door. My eyes were bleary, and it felt like a thunderstorm resided in my head. I questioned if it was the Beerlao’s doing.

Our group made our way to the boat, and the day continued much like the day before, but I refrained from the Beerlao in such quantities as the day prior.

After arriving in the village, I sought out accommodation before exploring this inland village the locals called Luang Prabang.

 

Day 3:

I have fallen ill. I awoke in the early hours of the morning shivering and sweating. In addition, a most wretched headache assaults my thoughts. But this differed from the one after drinking. I felt dehydrated, possibly due to the extent I was sweating.

I slept most of the day away and felt marginally better.

I walked around town, but my failing strength permitted me to only make the most basic of routes through the town. I wished to ascend the small hill in the middle of town, but I feared the worst should I attempt it.

I did discover a Buddhist temple.

But before long, I had to return to my room and continue resting, lest I collapse from exhaustion.

 

Day 4:

I awoke again shivering and sweating, but I felt that the intensity was not so much as the day prior. I didn’t feel as weak, and I braved a trip to a local waterfall. The locals spoke of it with the most highest regards, and I decided I must witness this beauty for myself. They called it Kuang Si.

I chartered a ride to the waterfall. I was surprised to learn that there are bears in the area. Moon and sun bears.

I was not disappointed with the falls. I have included some rough sketches below to illustrate its beauty.

There are some pools on the path to the waterfall that you can swim in, which I did.

There was a route on top of the waterfall to the source of said waterfall, but that was not what I was tasked with. I was tasked with finding the source of the Beerlao river.

I was not yet feeling my normal self, as the sickness persisted, but I did feel better than the previous day. I retired again for the evening intent on getting a full night’s rest. I am determined to continue my search tomorrow.

 

Day 5:

My expedition brought me to the town of Vang Vieng.

I can tell that I am getting closer to the source as the Beerlao was getting cheaper at only 8k and 10k instead of 10k and 15k for 330ml and 500ml bottles respectively.

My accommodation offered free whiskey, or “whisckey” as they wrote it. I didn’t taste as strong as the firewater from the Scots, but it did the job. That being said, I care not for whiskey, so I didn’t drink much.

 

Day 6:

I encountered a Dutch traveler who had come all the way from his home country by bicycle. I was most impressed, as I had chartered other means of transportation up to that point.

Together we decided to rent a curious manner of transportation for the day. They were funny contraptions reminiscent of his bicycle but powered in a similar manner to the steam engine trains I know of. He called it a “scooter,” but I do say that he may have been speaking the Dutch word. I will have to look up the translation later when I return to my study back on my estate.

Together, we visited a few lagoons. There are numerous ones the locals recommended, from Lagoon 1 through 5. We visited the first one. It was a pleasant experience, but it also seems to be a pilgrimage destination for the Koreans after it was popularized in a play-like presentation they call K-dramas.

We explored a nearby cave. It was exciting, but I wish I had brought something of a torch with me.

We then went to the fifth lagoon. This one had many fewer people and proved to be a bit more peaceful.

We returned to our accommodation, and my companion decided to rest. I wanted to make the most of the night.

Vang Vieng is infamous for the bars offering (select) free drinks. I made my way to the Sakura Bar where they offer free whiskey mixed with some fruit juice. You really can drink as much as you want, but it’s so weak, one barely notices it.

Additionally, they offer a deal where you get a free shirt if you buy 2 vodka drinks. These are a bit stronger, much like a traditional cocktail. I selected an orange muscle shirt.

Afterward, Viva Pub offers free drinks and cocktails from 10 to 11 at night. There, they put whiskey and cokes on the counter for you to just grab as well as beers. I feared the beer would be watered down, much like the free whiskeys I had experienced so far, but they were normal beers. Granted, they weren’t Beerlao and were rather some cheaper and less magical beer, but hey, it was free!

 

Day 7:

This city used to have a reputation as a crazy party city. People would rent tubes and go floating on the river, stopping by bars and getting ever more intoxicated. The village elders decided that they needed to curb the frequent deaths of drowning people who were drunk and couldn’t swim, as it was turning into a most perilous affair. One can still go tubing, though, but it just isn’t as crazy as years of yore.

There was one bar shortly after we started. We all got out there and got some drinks. They had free whiskey on offer again, but they tried to stress to not drink too much. We chuckled at the sentiment—free booze, but just don’t drink too much! However, we understood why they made such a proposition: nobody wanted another corpse in the river.

After tubing for a while, the trip ended at another bar where we hung out for a while playing a local game called beer pong, ziplining into the river, and sliding down the mud hill into the river. After playing in the mud for a while, my swimming trousers have been stained brown and it embarrassingly looks like I have soiled myself.

After returning to the village, the Dutch traveler was feeling like going out, so I showed him around and imparted my wisdom from the previous night.

Day 8:

My journey has brought me to the city of Vientiane, which appears to be the capital of this country.

I have discovered so many varieties of Beerlao! And at such cheap prices! I must be getting close to the source. I can almost taste it on my tongue.

 

Day 9:

I found it! I have discovered the source of the Beerlao river. Unfortunately, it seems I wasn’t the first person here, and it is heavily guarded by the locals. I can understand that they want to protect this mystical well. They do permit visitors, but not on the weekend, and it was Saturday when I arrived.

I had completed my journey. I had found the source. And yet, I felt defeated. It was shut off to me and I couldn’t truly get in to see the operation.

Feeling slightly dejected, I walked around the city.

I had a most sobering experience at COPE, a museum dedicated to prosthetics for people who step on landmines, from the times of a previous American aggression in neighboring Vietnam.

Other than that, I discovered more temples and monuments before visiting the night market.

Day 10:

I made my departure from Vientiane to Vietnam on the bus. The coach station was hectic, but I managed to find the correct option. The coach offered beds, but they were a tad short for my western frame. After 24 hours in the bus, I arrived in Hanoi, Vietnam, which I will write about in a different journal.

I found the territory of Laos to be a most exciting country. Beautiful landscapes, fun activities, and a wonderful magical liquid called Beerlao. I would love to revisit if I am ever in the area, ideally with more time to properly explore other areas.